Emad Barsoum writes: Molly the Mayor, A Powsome Choice!
In a dramatic turn of events, Toronto’s mayoral race just got a lot furrier as a canine contender has thrown its paw into the ring. That’s right, our beloved city of Toronto might soon have a four-legged leader ruling in the office. And let’s be honest, what could possibly go wrong?
Meet Molly, the Shepherd Dog with a nose for politics and a bark that demands attention. While some critics mock at the idea of a dog running for mayor, let’s consider the qualities that make Molly the best candidate for the job. First and foremost, Molly is honest. Unlike most politicians, she never wags her tail and lies. When Molly barks, she means it. No hidden agendas here, just pure, untainted truth.
Another admirable trait of Molly is her unwavering loyalty. Can we say the same for human politicians? Absolutely not. They jump from party to party, ally to ally, or wherever they think the wave would be higher. Molly, on the other hand, will stick with her constituents through thick and thin, always ready to wag her tail in support, providing unconditional love, and on top of all, she would never bite the hands that feed her.
Hypocrisy? Not in Molly’s dictionary. While politicians might preach about climate change from their gas-guzzling SUVs, Molly practices what she barks. She’s an avid recycler and makes sure to pick up after herself. Plus, have you ever seen a dog wear a Rolex or own a luxury mansion? Neither have we. Molly lives a simple life, unaffected by the frills of power.
And let’s not forget bravery. Molly fearlessly chases squirrels and mailmen daily. She’s not afraid to take risks and stand up to anyone who threatens her pack. Imagine having a mayor who doesn’t flinch in the face of adversity, who doesn’t shy away from making tough decisions. It’s refreshing, to say the least. Even she would not laydown relaxed if her constituents are not receiving medical care, timely and professionally, simply because she Cares!
Now, some might argue that dogs can’t vote, but that’s just a minor detail. We propose a ground-breaking initiative: voting cards for all eligible dog citizens of Toronto! After all, who better to choose our future leaders than those who truly understand loyalty, honesty, gallantry, the well being of all without prejudice, and the value of a good belly rub? Perhaps we should even consider including other pets in this democratic endeavor. They can surely form a council to discuss the issues that affect their lives, like demanding more treats and extended nap times.
If we’re honest with ourselves, human politicians have had their chance, and what have we got to show for it? A whole lot of promises, empty speeches, and budget cuts to the bone. Maybe it’s time to let the animals have a shot at running the show. Who knows, we might actually see some real change around here.
So, fellow Torontonians, let’s embrace this historic moment and rally behind Molly the Shepherd Dog. She may be covered in fur and prone to sniffing lampposts, but she embodies the qualities we’ve longed to see in our politicians. And who knows, with Molly at the helm, maybe one day we’ll have a city that’s barking mad in the best possible way.